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Several things came to mind before I started “research” for this column.

The first was Groucho Marx, who famously said, “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” Groucho apparently reveled in his riffraff-ism, as I do on most occasions, especially if it gets me out of wearing a suit.

Besides, if the women on Millionaire Match were rich, I wouldn’t need my house — I’d move in with one of them. But my first attempt failed, probably because I used my New York Post email address and asked to be matched with a woman worth 0 million or more. Enough to keep us comfortable, but — you know — not greedy.

First mistake: Millionaire Match apparently doesn’t think it is funny if you post a picture of yourself as a 5-year-old.

But I was in a discount tour bus, so that probably doesn’t count either.

But if I sold my house and was willing to live in a box for the rest of my life, I guess I would be considered a millionaire. Next, I applied under my personal email address and asked for women with only million.

Have you ever wondered if other people consider you riffraff?

“There’s nothing like driving up the Pacific Coast Highway in my Ferrari en route to wine country for a long weekend of relaxation,” said one guy, who I hope wasn’t texting that message while steering that fine machine.

One out of every two active members on Luxy earns more than 500K.

41% of income-verified members on our millionaire match site earn more than 1M .

And another: “I have a summer home in Cape Cod and it’s so much sweeter when I have someone to share it with me.

Check it out.” Hell, I have a house near the Jersey Shore. I did buy a couple of prints from a guy standing outside Madison Square Garden the other day.

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